Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Personality Changes

One of the things that stood out to me this weekend, during our little tiff about memory, is how Keith's personality is changing. Namely, his temper. I can count on one hand the number of times Keith and I have fought, so this change in temper is really throwing me for a loop. In my last post I didn't go into too much detail about exactly what was said between us, but Keith did get really angry at me during our conversation, which upset me. I am not used to being spoken to that way by him.

Keith has always been a little impatient with the wait staff at almost any restaurant he goes to. He's just a picky diner, and that's fine. But lately it's not just the waitress at Denny's that ticks him off, it's the teller at the bank, the cashier at the grocery store, the loud customer at work, the daycare parent that's two minutes late picking up her child, the man walking too slow in front of him at the grocery store, the man driving in front of him, me, Hailey, etc., etc. . . . . Get the point? At home I have to walk on eggshells around him for fear of saying the wrong thing. When we go out, I am constantly looking for my escape route should he decided to bite someones head off. It came up again just the other night.

Hailey has been saving his money to buy an electric guitar. He finally saved enough, and Keith, as usual, hooked him up. He found a young kid who used to work for him, C, who could give Hailey guitar lessons. Keith told me about all this, then said that he had called Bryan to let him know that he could sit in on the lessons if he wanted to learn to play as well. So I said, "That's great! I just have one concern, though. I don't want to end up paying for guitar lessons that Hailey really wants just to have him left by himself while Bryan and C chat it up about other things." I mean, come on! You have two twenty-something guys who know each other and have similar interests and mutual friends stuck in a room with an eleven year old boy, what do you think is going to happen? You're thinking what I'm thinking, I'm sure. Well, Keith went off! He raised his voice and swore and said to just forget it, that he'd call Bryan and tell him he can't come over and join in. Not at all the calm, easy-going husband I am used to. Not by any stretch of the imagination. At this point I had had enough. I told him off. I put him in his place, so to speak. I told him that I was not happy with the way he has been speaking to me lately. I told him I was not going to put up with it, PD or not. I told him I was tired of walking on eggshells around him, and that I simply was not going to tolerate being treated that way. I half expected a fight, but surprisingly, he agreed with me. He apologized, and everything was fine after that. Sorta.

I guess things are as fine as can be expected. We are not fighting, if that's what you're thinking. But things are never truly "fine" when you see your husband's behavior change so much in such a short amount of time. It's a lot to get used to. I hope I can handle this. I pray every day that God gives me the strength to be the strong one in all of this. I sure hope I can be.

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