Friday, December 11, 2009

Parkinson's vs. Pregnancy

Parkinson's Disease and Pregnancy go together about as well as oil and water.  The two just don't mix at all.  When one partner has PD and the other is pregnant, how do you decide whose turn it is to be pampered?  Which person gets the evening back rub or the foot soak or gets to complain the loudest and longest? 

ME:  getting up from the sofa to wash the dishes

KEITH:  standing at the kitchen counter taking his PD medication

ME:  begin to wash dishes, then stop for a rest, stretch my back and sigh

KEITH:  looks over :  What's wrong?

ME:  lamenting:  Every time I think I have enough energy to get something done, I get in to it and realize I am much more tired than I originally thought.  I don't have the energy to finish anything anymore! 

KEITH:  a wide-eyed look of wonder on his face:  Wow!  Pregnancy is just like Parkinson's, isn't it?!

ME:  a squinty-eyed look of irritation on my face:  NO!  Pregnancy is nothing like Parkinson's!

KEITH:  stammering:  Well, I, uh, ummm, I just meant that PD makes me feel tired and achy like pregnancy does to ----

ME:  pregnancy-induced hormones raging:  Half the damn world feels tired and achy, Keith, but that doesn't mean they have anything similiar to PD.  I have a human being growing inside me.  There is literally a completely separate person inside my body.  That is nothing like Parkinson's whatsoever! 

KEITH:  in a don't-make-any-sudden-moves posture:  Look, I just meant that -----

ME:  shaking a rolling pin angrily about:  I know what you meant!  So stop turning every conversation about this pregnancy into a PD related thing.  I don't mean to be ugly, but you are going to have PD for the rest of your life.  We have that long to discuss it.  I am only going to be pregnant for a couple more months.  Can I at least have that long?  Can I please just have my day?!?!?!

Okay, so maybe I didn't literally shake a rolling pin around, but I wanted to.  That conversation did actually take place, as embarrased as I am to admit it.  It took a while, but Keith and I finally managed to work out a system we both found helpful.  Basically, whichever one of us was still somehow on our feet at the end of the day had to pamper the one that had long since collapsed.  So the moral of the story is - PD and pregnancy can, at times, be very similar, thus a give and take relationship of pure pampering is absolutely essential to maintaining the happiness and well-being of the couple.

(the real moral of the story is to always, ALWAYS, pamper the pregnant wife)

3 comments:

One Life said...

BWAhahaha!

Tell him, while the symptoms might be similar, at least HE doesn't get the hormone rollercoaster as a bonus! ("But wait! There's MORE!")

It's a darn good thing babies are so cute when they finally get here. (The designer of that reward system really knew what he was doing!) ;-)

Otherwise we'd be inclined to say "Meh. Think I'll get a puppy instead", and the future of civilization would be doomed.

Yea, you have walked through the valley of swollen ankles and done battle with the hurl monster. Long roads have you traveled with such a heavy burden, and at every way station along the way they gave you a few more ounces to carry. Many travails have you overcome: the mountain ranges where none were there before. The disappearance of your very feet behind those mountains, not to be seen again for many months. The fact that parts of you get to places long before other parts, making reaching things difficult.

But lo - aided by your ever faithful sidekick you have reached the end of the journey to a hero's reward - the CUTEST little bundle of sweetness the Earth has ever seen. Congratulations, guys - you survived! ;-D

Mary said...

awww, thanks!!

;)

Bryn said...

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Cheers
Bryn